My advice is eat anyway. Appetite is a pretty poor indicator of your body's needs in mood disorders, but mood can be greatly affected by what you eat. Getting some protein, some veggies, and some whole grains can give you a lift, that while it won't be the magic bullet that drugs seem to be, it can help take enough of the burden off that then taking further steps can seem possible.
You know depression. It's an old enemy and a long-term companion. You know that it whispers and it lies. Your family may ignore you when you are at your lowest, but then you don't have the energy to stand up for yourself and be heard then either. It's better when you are better. You know that this is what it's like when you are at your lowest, and you know that you have climbed out before, and you can climb out again. Depression whispers that you can't that it won't ever change, that the awful, the dreary, the energy-sapping state will go on forever, but depression LIES. You know this because you have broken through and seen the truth before, and you can again. Don't listen. Believe.
You may indeed be right that what you are experiencing now is worse than the PMS. That's a value judgment that you will have to make after discussion with your doctor/therapist. It is certainly worth exploring if there is some other dosing schedule or medication that will serve you better. Ride it out, and change what you can. This is a trough, but the crest will come in time. You're brave. I've seen you endure and pull yourself up before, and you can succeed again.
And in the mean time, until your family starts hearing you again, we'll listen. You really aren't alone.
ETA: Beloved husband, when I asked him about side effects of long term use of Paxil, said that that has not been too well studied at this time, that Paxil has been quite effective for some on the effects of PMS, but that the key to the use of any of these meds is "Does it make a difference in quality of life?", and that if the answer is yes, then it is appropriate to use it. So yeah, you should have that discussion with your therapist about whether this is a medication you should be on full time.
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You know depression. It's an old enemy and a long-term companion. You know that it whispers and it lies. Your family may ignore you when you are at your lowest, but then you don't have the energy to stand up for yourself and be heard then either. It's better when you are better. You know that this is what it's like when you are at your lowest, and you know that you have climbed out before, and you can climb out again. Depression whispers that you can't that it won't ever change, that the awful, the dreary, the energy-sapping state will go on forever, but depression LIES. You know this because you have broken through and seen the truth before, and you can again. Don't listen. Believe.
You may indeed be right that what you are experiencing now is worse than the PMS. That's a value judgment that you will have to make after discussion with your doctor/therapist. It is certainly worth exploring if there is some other dosing schedule or medication that will serve you better. Ride it out, and change what you can. This is a trough, but the crest will come in time. You're brave. I've seen you endure and pull yourself up before, and you can succeed again.
And in the mean time, until your family starts hearing you again, we'll listen. You really aren't alone.
ETA: Beloved husband, when I asked him about side effects of long term use of Paxil, said that that has not been too well studied at this time, that Paxil has been quite effective for some on the effects of PMS, but that the key to the use of any of these meds is "Does it make a difference in quality of life?", and that if the answer is yes, then it is appropriate to use it. So yeah, you should have that discussion with your therapist about whether this is a medication you should be on full time.