survived November

[jennickels]

Yep, I made it through again.

Brenna's birthday party was pathetic but she had one (and didn't complain as usual).
Thanksgiving turned out pretty darn well. It was probably one of the least stressful ones I remember in awhile. Turkey was perfect, everyone ate leftovers all week and loved the turkey noodle soup I made on Tuesday.
I survived my mom's birthday. She would have been 64 this year and the day actually slid by without me dwelling on it. Wish she was here.
We fixed our freezer! YIPPEE. Ended up being a burnt out defrost heater. We put in a new one and so far it's working perfectly. No more thawing by hand every few days while our milk goes bad (we lost an entire gallon right before Thanksgiving).
And the biggest moment: I won NaNo!

I really didn't think I was going to finish NaNo and it didn't seem like a big deal. At one point (right before Thanksgiving) I was over 12k behind and figured that was it--I had gotten too far behind to catch up with the way my moods had been. Then over the holiday I got a chance to use the computer and was able to write about 5k words. I still didn't think I would finish, I was tired of stressing. But then I saw I was only about 8k behind so I sat there all day (I think it was last Monday) and wrote 8k words and went from being almost 12k behind at one time to being 89 words over, lol. Still I had no urge to really finish until I sat down on Wednesday and realized I only had 4k left to go. And if I had gone that far what was the point of giving up? So I did it. I won.

That makes 4 wins in the 8 years I've participated (in 08, 09, 10 and 12). I'm so proud and I really like the way my story is shaping up. I'm sure I'll continue adding to it over the next year.

Better news: I've felt the pull back to fandom. I decided to try and finish up my SG-1 fic I was writing for sfxpromptbang. It was due yesterday but I was offered an amnesty if I could post after Christmas (without artwork). To get back in the groove I watched the episode my story branches off from and remembered all over again why I love SG-1 so much. Now I'm doing another rewatch. I'm already on season 1, episode... Uh, what episode is Thor's Hammer?

Now I'm itching to start writing fanfiction again. I miss it so much. Writing original fic (especially a novel) is amazing and fun but I think underneath it all I am a fanfic writer and always will be. It's my bread & butter and what really gets me writing. I will always write fanfic, even if some day I became a super successful famous #1 bestseller. :)

Now if only the Bears had won today.

Comments

[bluewillowtree.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad to hear it! Congratulations on getting through such a difficult time, and for winning NaNo!

Best of luck with the SG-1 fic; I look forward to reading it when you're done!

[jennickels.livejournal.com]

Well, I worked on it for a couple hours last night but then I wrote a different SG-1 story. Felt nice to actually finish something. Don't think I've done that since September (maybe August). I'll try and type that up today.

[xfirefly9x.livejournal.com]

Glad things are going better. :)

Congrats on winning NaNoWriMo!

[jennickels.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It was one of the hardest wins I've ever come by. Might actually have been THE hardest.

[mizzy2k.livejournal.com]

Hey, love - would you like some artwork for your BB? I'll have a few free days in the Christmas hols. Let me know! x

[jennickels.livejournal.com]

If I get the story done I'll let you know. Or, you know, if I ever get it finished, even this summer I'll let you know and if you have time I'd love some art work. Have to finish it first, though. I keep getting distracted by other stories I pushed to the side while doing NaNo.

[mizzy2k.livejournal.com]

Yeah! Whenever you're done, let me know! :)

[thothmes.livejournal.com]

Jen, you have no idea how happy this post made me. Your last posting was... concerning. I had decided that I needed to PM you to ask if you were okay, and what was there to greet me, but this. And you triumphed on NANO! Yay you!

I really look forward to that fic you mentioned. But still more lovely is the fact that you are looking forward.

[jennickels.livejournal.com]

Thanks. The looking forward is a new development. I'm latching on to it while it's here because who knows how long I'll feel this way.

November just does a number on me. I get really, really bad every single year. It's amazing I've won any NaNos. One Thanksgiving my dad and Patrick had to make almost the entire meal because half way through cooking it I had a complete melt down and went my room to cry where I stayed for a couple hours. Came out, tried to finish and ended up back in my room. That was a crappy year but they got the dinner finished. They had to physically haul me out to participate and I didn't even start eating until everyone was done (took my food in my room). I was really bad off.

Something to do with my mom's birthday being on Thanksgiving (I think) and trying to do everything perfect for her like I remember her doing for us when we were little. Didn't work out so great but I couldn't lose the feeling that it had to be perfect which is stupid because they were never "perfect" when I was a kid and my mom wouldn't give a rat's ass either way. I still tear up thinking how badly I wanted that meal to be just right.

The last few years I've been able to get past that. It helps that Patrick has volunteered to help with the meal the last few years, too, without me having to throw a fit or feel guilty for ruining his holiday by making him be in the kitchen with me.

[nymaeria.livejournal.com]

hurrah! congrats!! go you on getting through a tough month, and also on Nano. that's amazing! I think I managed like 2 haiku last month. :) yours is an amazing accomplishment!

[jennickels.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Weirdly, it doesn't feel as big as the other years. And it should feel bigger since I was able to get past the depression and finish. The other years I won I wasn't nearly as bad as off and had much more time to work on it. I haven't even printed my certificate off to replace the one from 2010 that is still hanging next to my desk.

[raktajinos.livejournal.com]

oh thank god you're alright. I was so genuinely concerned for you.