first day without school

[jennickels]

I got up this morning and decided to actually put some time into cleaning my room. Over the last couple of months, I start cleaning in the kitchen, and maybe finish that and the living rooms before I'm too exhausted. The next day I have to start all over, so I never got to my own room.

So I straightened up and vacuumed my room. I tossed all of my school papers and picked out books to donate (my shelves were overflowing), then I folded some of the kids clothes. They all took other bags/baskets of clean clothes since I hadn't gotten around to folding them--those are now on their floors (I fold them because there's a better chance they'll end up in a dresser that way). I still have about a bajillion loads of laundry to do. Okay, it's more like eight, but by then the girls will have a full load dirtied up. Ugh. The rest of the house is a mess and smells gross for some reason.

I had to go see my eye doctor at 1pm to recheck my eyes--I have chronic dry eyes which has been causing me issues. They feel so much better since I started on the prescription she gave me. I had no idea my eyeballs weren't supposed to be glued to my eyelids when I woke up, or that my vision wasn't supposed to be so blurred in the morning I couldn't see for five minutes. Crazy!

Now I'm at Shari's having lunch. I'm kind of lost without the threat of deadlines and assignments to do. I should probably be writing.

Oh, while I was cleaning my room, Jack came in to tell me about some Minecraft video he watched. After about five minutes, I realized I didn't have to tell him to leave me alone because I had homework to finish. I told him that, and he got all excited. He gave me a huge hug. Now I just have to convince him that I can't watch him play Minecraft because it makes me sick.

Comments

[nynaeve-sedai.livejournal.com]

Congrats on finishing school!!! Are you graduating this year? I'm sorry, I'm lame at remembering details like this :P I'm proud of you though :) Five kids and school is certainly nothing to sniff at. I hope you're glowing with pride!

I know for ages after I finished college I would dream about missing deadlines (or showing up for the exam when I didn't know I was in the class!)

Elijah and I have been talking about me going back to school. I have my undergrad but I didn't get it in what I wanted, so I'm thinking a post-bacc and then onto grad school. That probably won't happen for another two years (he's finishing up his doctorate so right now our finances are tied up there), so I'm going to start doing some of my own refresher stuff. Benefit of homeschooling, I know where to find the good curriculum LOL.

[jennickels.livejournal.com]

Graduation is Saturday, but I'm not going since it's on the other side of the country. I have a BA in English/Creative Writing. It's not exactly worth anything, but I'm proud to have finally finished it. I think the coolest thing is being able to check "bachelor's degree" when they ask for highest education level on paperwork.

Patrick and I were talking about me taking a few classes through the community college to supplement the degree. They have a few writing classes, including one on editing.

[nynaeve-sedai.livejournal.com]

Don't sell yourself short! A four year degree opens doors that otherwise wouldn't be available and the ability to communicate clearly in writing is always a must have. I know some people took classes on technical writing. Plus, if you put down on a resume any computer skills you have as well, that'll help.

Your degree would be useful for tutoring as well. There's a lot! It just takes some brainstorming and hunting - no matter what your degree really.

I hope you do something to celebrate your hard work. Not just doing school, but overcoming anxiety and depression to move forward and succeed. Doing college with a mental illness is no easy task (plus a family!) - you deserve every accolade :)

[jennickels.livejournal.com]

I don't really want to get a job. The degree was kind of a personal mission, but also to help with my writing. I've looked around, though, and there isn't much I qualify for. People want degrees in specific subjects, and the ones that will accept my degree want 2-3 years of experience (interning, I guess).

My biggest problem, though, is between my anxiety and bipolar, I'm not a reliable employee. I get stressed at the smallest things and when I'm stressed, I completely freak out or shut down. I never know if I can finish anything because of the bipolar. I might feel great when I take on a project, but three days later, I'm so depressed I don't want to get out of bed, making it nearly impossible to finish anything. If I do finish, I don't put much effort into it. I don't think I'd be good at any kind of job. I'm so out of shape and overweight, I can't stand for long periods of time either without my back screaming in agony. I'm going to try walking to improve that--I miss walking; I did it all the time before kids.

Patrick keeps hinting that he wants me to get a job. I feel bad because he's working a ton of overtime so we have some disposable income, so I'm trying to keep up on chores (which is already pissing me off because everyone is treating me like the maid) and I'm determined to finish my novel for real. I spent a couple of hours at Shari's yesterday working on character profiles. I have to feel like I'm doing something.