Heaven Can't Wait - Chapter 49

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Chapter Forty-Nine - Warm and Content

Bellamy wakes slowly—warm and content—with a body pressed up against his. It’s small and soft and smells faintly of lavender and crayons. He imagines the day they’ll have together: breakfast in their quarters, wandering the halls while she chatters away, maybe decorating some of the dull walls with the markers he found in a crate yesterday. He reaches for her little hand only to realize seconds later it’s not so little.

Slowly, reality seeps into the pre-dawn dream. Clarke squeezes his fingers then rolls to face him. “Morning,” she drawls, licking her lips. Bellamy forces a smile on his face, hoping he hides his disappointment well enough. Because what does he have to be disappointed about? He wonders that every time the feeling overcomes him. Why can’t Clarke be enough? Why can’t I get over Heaven?

Clarke must sense his emotions. She nuzzles against his neck, wrapping her arms around his chest. “She’s going to be okay, you know. She’ll grow up strong with a sense of community. Loved. And maybe someday Indra will get over herself, and you’ll get to see her again.”

She says a version of that every time she sees through his mask. He squeezes back the tears wishing it were true—the last part anyway. Indra was never going to forgive him. She can’t have his blood so she’s taking his soul piece by piece. He nods anyway. “I know. Sorry.”

Clarke leans back to look at him. “You listened to me bawl about Lexa all last night-”

“That’s not the same-”

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