Random Insanity

Chapter 5

“What’s with all the sourpusses?” Sarge asked as the Reds joined Church and the others. “This is supposed to be the Happiest Place in the Galaxy.”

“That’s Disneyland, sir.”

“Oh, right.”

Tucker sighed. “Caboose is missing.”

“Again?” said Grif. “We need a leash for that guy.”

Simmons shot his friend a look. “Grif, that’s not-”

“Or Lojack.”

“We already installed that,” Tucker said. “In his armor.”

Sarge scoffed. “Well, that ain’t much help now. Maybe we could put one of those trackin’ chip things in him? Like you do a dog.”

“Yeah, that’d work,” Grif agreed.

“Guys,” Doc interrupted, “That’s not really nice.”

Simmons put an end to the discussion with a sigh. “We should split up and look for him. We’ll cover more ground that way.”

Wash nodded. “Good idea. You and Grif head west. Doc, Donut, and Sarge take the east. Carolina and I will head north towards the port. Church, you and Tucker cover the fair around the coaster. Everyone got it?”

“I swear to god if you say, ‘sync,’ I will slap you,” Tucker said before walking away.

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Chapter 4

It seemed like forever before Church got the vomiting under control. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand then gulped water right from the tap, swishing it around his mouth before spitting it out. What he wouldn’t give for a toothbrush right now.

He’d forgotten about this side of having fun. He found that kind of ironic—what with being made of pure memory. He didn’t dwell on it. He did consider ditching this body for someone less pukey, but after splashing water on his face, he felt better. And switching would just confuse Caboose.

Church hurried back to where he last saw the gang—near an ice cream stand where Grif had been trying to convince Simmons that mixing all ten flavors was a sure cure for a hangover—but when he got there, the shop had closed. Fuck.

He scanned the mass of people, looking for a mop of black hair bobbing above the others. Or a glimpse of the turquoise sundress Carolina was wearing that was giving Church very confusing and uncomfortable feelings. He saw only strangers.

“Great,” he muttered. “They ditched me.”

He rubbed his face, wincing at his sore nose. This poor bastard was going to wake up to one hell of a hangover in the morning. Instinctively, Church reached for his radio toggle before remembering a second later he wasn’t wearing his armor. He wasn’t even wearing his own skin. Now what? Caboose would never voluntarily leave without him, so he figured they went on ahead when he took too long.

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Chapter 2

It had been a long time since Church possessed a live person with their required breathing and uncoordinated appendages. He immediately lost his balance and fell into a very well endowed woman standing next to him. Unfortunately, his hands landed on those endowments.

“Hey,” she squealed, getting the attention of her hulking giant of a boyfriend.

Before Church could attempt an apology, a fist was in his face, knocking him flat on his ass.

“Son of a bitch,” he yelled, grabbing his nose.

“Next time, keep your hands to yourself, asshole.” The brute gave him a kick in the side for good measure before the couple stomped off.

Caboose came running over. “Church? Church is that you?”

Church groaned and staggered to his feet. “Yeah, it’s me.” He carefully pulled his hands from his face, expecting a gush of blood, but there was only a trickle from one side. He wiped it away with the back of his hand then squeezed the bridge of his sore nose. Nothing felt broken at least. He had forgotten what this kind of pain felt like.

“Are you okay, Church?”

He finally noticed the worried expression on his friend’s way-too-young-to-be-caught-up-in-this-crap face for the first time. He sniffed until his nose cleared some then patted Caboose’s shoulder. “Yeah, I’m fine. This guy’s going to have some serious shiners in the morning, though. Come on, let’s go find the others.”

That should have been their second warning. Taking over people’s bodies against their will sent a lot of bad juju out into the universe, and Karma is a ruthless, hard-ass bitch. Not unlike Tex. And Tex always had a way of tearing Church apart.

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