ugh with family drama
7 Mar 2012 01:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jennickelsI won't bore you guys but here's the Reader's Digest version:
Meagan had a half day today, got home at noon and immediately started in with the victim drama about how she was sooooo busy trying to get her grades up in math and history that she "forgot" to do her science work so now she has an F in science. Which she doesn't care about because grades reset next week. She doesn't get that at the end of the year they average the grades and now she won't be able to get higher than a C in science even if she gets an A this last term. She has a big science project due next week and wanted to work on it so I told her she had an hour on the computer. After an hour I was going in my room to get some quiet and I can't trust her on the computer without me in the room (when she was supposed to be doing research for her history project she was playing Stardoll instead). So instead of using her 1 hour to get some research done she threw a tantrum and carried on about how it will be my fault she gets an F on this project. Oy. The sass... makes me want to slap her silly. She also made this huge mess doing her history project on Monday. She was up until 11pm making The Great Wall of China out of salt flour dough. Which she left all over the kitchen (on the counters, sink, faucet, floor, wall, chairs... everywhere). I told her to clean it up when she got home from school yesterday. She didn't do it. Now she's grounded for that which she thinks is unfair.
ANYWAY I actually wanted to post about this "homework" Nora brought home for me. I'm supposed to fill out this survey on home safety. And, honestly, it pisses me off. I know it shouldn't but I'm basically going to be checking "no" for every single item on the list and it's going to look like I don't care about my kids' safety. I just don't buy into the whole, "childproof your world". I worldproof my kids. Most of the stuff on the list is not a worry to me because the kids know better. And Jack will learn.
Here's the list:
cleaners in original containers and kept in a locked cabinet...NO
they are [mostly] in their original containers and they are kept under the sink but it's not locked, the kids know better and so far Jack hasn't bothered with it. If he starts to get into that cabinet we'll put a lock on it
kitchen tools and materials stored properly...I GUESS
the scissors and knives are in drawers but they are easily accessible to the kids. In fact the kids (other than Jack) are encouraged to use the knives, they can cut their own food. That way they know how to safely use a knife instead of just hiding them away.
all pots have their handles turned in while on the stove...WHEN I COOK THEY DO
that's just common sense but my husband never remembers this rule but I always turn them in when I cook and always did even before I had kids.
bathroom safety (non-skid tubs, rugs, etc)...NO
we have no bath mat, we do have a rug but it's not the kind with the non-slip bottom. Amazingly we've never had a bathroom accident.
water heater set between 115-120 and no higher...NO
I have no idea what the landlady has the water heater set to but it comes out steaming hot. The kids know to test water and never stick their hands under the faucet if the hot tap is open all the way. Common sense.
medicines are capped and in a locked cabinet...NO
we don't have a medicine cabinet. The kids stuff is kept in the cabinet above the stove because it's too small for anything else (it has the vent for the stove running through it). My medicine is kept on the window sill in my bathroom where the kids aren't supposed to be but they know better than to mess with medicine without asking. Meagan and Owen now dose themselves most of the time (after asking and confirming the amount they need to take, they are 11 and 10).
electrical sockets/wires protected...NO
I'm assuming they mean outlet covers. We don't use them. The kids know better and Jack has never shown much interest in the outlets.
home alone plan...???
I have no idea what they mean with this. Probably a plan for the kids in case they come home and there's no one there. My kids stay home by themselves all the time. They come home often to find no one here. Usually we leave them a note. They know they aren't allowed off the property if we're not here and no one comes inside, no cooking on the stove and no doing anything dangerous.
answering the door/phone plans...NO
I expect my kids to answer the door if someone knocks on it unless we're not here and then they use their best judgement. If someone wanted in our house it wouldn't matter if the kids opened the door, they could just kick it in. I could kick it in. The kids don't answer the phone since we don't have one, just the cells and the only people that call them are people we know and the kids aren't even allowed to use the phones.
storm plans...NO
I assume they mean like for tornadoes or hurricanes which we don't get here. We did used to live in a tornado area and they knew to get in the basement. I'm pretty sure they would know to hide in the laundry room should a tornado happen here (we actually talked about that once when we first moved here--they knew to get to an interior room...which is the laundry room).
matches and lighters are stored properly...I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS MEANS
we don't have any matches in the house and the lighter is kept above the stove (on the other side from the kids' medicine), they know to leave it alone.
fire escape plan...TO A POINT
I just asked the kids what they would do if they found the house on fire or filled with smoke and told them they should kick out their screens and jump out the windows (it's a 4 foot drop). Owen asked what he should do if Jack was in his room and I told him to drop Jack out the window first then climb out after and take him to a neighbor's house.
working smoke alarms...YES
we have 2 (one by the kitchen and 1 near the bedrooms). I'm really surprised they didn't have carbon monoxide detectors on the list. We don't have anything gas powered in the house but in Chicago they were mandatory and we had them all over the house.
water safety plans (pools, bathtubs, creeks, etc)...I GUESS
the older 3 know how to swim since we had a 4' above ground pool at my dad's. Nora doesn't know how to swim but we don't have a pool here. We did have a little blow up kiddie pool and I trust the kids to not get themselves killed in it. They even take Jack in it and I don't sit out there with them. I check on them occasionally, though. Obviously, Jack wouldn't be allowed out there alone with the pool or alone in the bath but he takes baths with the other kids while I'm in another room or I leave them to watch him if I need to leave the bathroom.
I'm thinking of printing off all of that and sending it in with the survey. I do care about my kids safety but I don't consider this stuff as do or die. Then again the crazy helicopter parents think I'm beyond negligent because my kids learned to use a microwave at 4 or 5, learned to use a toaster at 3, are allowed to play outside unsupervised, can roam the neighborhood (the older 3 anyway), go to the bus stop without me, stay home by themselves, go to the park on their own, etc.
In fact Brenna ran off to play with friends shortly after getting home and finishing her chores. She's 9 and took her bike (but forgot to close the garage door so I have to go do that in a minute). And Nora just left to go see if her friend could play. She's almost 6 and has been walking to and from her friend's house down the street since she was 4 1/2. She's now allowed to play outside all alone if she wishes and can go to the park if she's with the older kids. I even let her walk herself to the park the other day because I knew the older kids were already there. I think she can handle crossing 1 barely busy street.
It bugged the crap out of me that I had to fill out special paperwork for her to be allowed to get off the bus without an adult present at the bus stop. Never mind she rides the bus with her older brother and sister who are in 4th and 3rd grades. And there are about 7 other kids at their stop. And then when I got the paper to sign it was actually for her to be able to get off the bus with no one (no adult, no siblings, etc) waiting for her. It released the bus company of any liability should something happen to her while she walked the block to our house. According to the paper it was always perfectly okay for her to get off the bus with her brother or sister and there was nothing that needed to be signed for that. Grrr.
I shouldn't have to jump through all those hoops. Or worry someone will call family services because they don't agree with the way I parent. Luckily most of the parents around here do things the same way. There are always kids wandering around the area, going to stores on their own, waiting at the bus stop (except the kindy kids with no older siblings because of the hoops above), riding bikes, playing in the street, and just enjoying their childhood. I love it here. I don't even think twice about going out now and leaving the older 4 at home (or any of the older 3 by themselves).
Okay, random ranting done. I now have to go clean up the mess Meagan made in the kitchen that she doesn't think she should have to clean. Ugh.
Meagan had a half day today, got home at noon and immediately started in with the victim drama about how she was sooooo busy trying to get her grades up in math and history that she "forgot" to do her science work so now she has an F in science. Which she doesn't care about because grades reset next week. She doesn't get that at the end of the year they average the grades and now she won't be able to get higher than a C in science even if she gets an A this last term. She has a big science project due next week and wanted to work on it so I told her she had an hour on the computer. After an hour I was going in my room to get some quiet and I can't trust her on the computer without me in the room (when she was supposed to be doing research for her history project she was playing Stardoll instead). So instead of using her 1 hour to get some research done she threw a tantrum and carried on about how it will be my fault she gets an F on this project. Oy. The sass... makes me want to slap her silly. She also made this huge mess doing her history project on Monday. She was up until 11pm making The Great Wall of China out of salt flour dough. Which she left all over the kitchen (on the counters, sink, faucet, floor, wall, chairs... everywhere). I told her to clean it up when she got home from school yesterday. She didn't do it. Now she's grounded for that which she thinks is unfair.
ANYWAY I actually wanted to post about this "homework" Nora brought home for me. I'm supposed to fill out this survey on home safety. And, honestly, it pisses me off. I know it shouldn't but I'm basically going to be checking "no" for every single item on the list and it's going to look like I don't care about my kids' safety. I just don't buy into the whole, "childproof your world". I worldproof my kids. Most of the stuff on the list is not a worry to me because the kids know better. And Jack will learn.
Here's the list:
cleaners in original containers and kept in a locked cabinet...NO
they are [mostly] in their original containers and they are kept under the sink but it's not locked, the kids know better and so far Jack hasn't bothered with it. If he starts to get into that cabinet we'll put a lock on it
kitchen tools and materials stored properly...I GUESS
the scissors and knives are in drawers but they are easily accessible to the kids. In fact the kids (other than Jack) are encouraged to use the knives, they can cut their own food. That way they know how to safely use a knife instead of just hiding them away.
all pots have their handles turned in while on the stove...WHEN I COOK THEY DO
that's just common sense but my husband never remembers this rule but I always turn them in when I cook and always did even before I had kids.
bathroom safety (non-skid tubs, rugs, etc)...NO
we have no bath mat, we do have a rug but it's not the kind with the non-slip bottom. Amazingly we've never had a bathroom accident.
water heater set between 115-120 and no higher...NO
I have no idea what the landlady has the water heater set to but it comes out steaming hot. The kids know to test water and never stick their hands under the faucet if the hot tap is open all the way. Common sense.
medicines are capped and in a locked cabinet...NO
we don't have a medicine cabinet. The kids stuff is kept in the cabinet above the stove because it's too small for anything else (it has the vent for the stove running through it). My medicine is kept on the window sill in my bathroom where the kids aren't supposed to be but they know better than to mess with medicine without asking. Meagan and Owen now dose themselves most of the time (after asking and confirming the amount they need to take, they are 11 and 10).
electrical sockets/wires protected...NO
I'm assuming they mean outlet covers. We don't use them. The kids know better and Jack has never shown much interest in the outlets.
home alone plan...???
I have no idea what they mean with this. Probably a plan for the kids in case they come home and there's no one there. My kids stay home by themselves all the time. They come home often to find no one here. Usually we leave them a note. They know they aren't allowed off the property if we're not here and no one comes inside, no cooking on the stove and no doing anything dangerous.
answering the door/phone plans...NO
I expect my kids to answer the door if someone knocks on it unless we're not here and then they use their best judgement. If someone wanted in our house it wouldn't matter if the kids opened the door, they could just kick it in. I could kick it in. The kids don't answer the phone since we don't have one, just the cells and the only people that call them are people we know and the kids aren't even allowed to use the phones.
storm plans...NO
I assume they mean like for tornadoes or hurricanes which we don't get here. We did used to live in a tornado area and they knew to get in the basement. I'm pretty sure they would know to hide in the laundry room should a tornado happen here (we actually talked about that once when we first moved here--they knew to get to an interior room...which is the laundry room).
matches and lighters are stored properly...I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS MEANS
we don't have any matches in the house and the lighter is kept above the stove (on the other side from the kids' medicine), they know to leave it alone.
fire escape plan...TO A POINT
I just asked the kids what they would do if they found the house on fire or filled with smoke and told them they should kick out their screens and jump out the windows (it's a 4 foot drop). Owen asked what he should do if Jack was in his room and I told him to drop Jack out the window first then climb out after and take him to a neighbor's house.
working smoke alarms...YES
we have 2 (one by the kitchen and 1 near the bedrooms). I'm really surprised they didn't have carbon monoxide detectors on the list. We don't have anything gas powered in the house but in Chicago they were mandatory and we had them all over the house.
water safety plans (pools, bathtubs, creeks, etc)...I GUESS
the older 3 know how to swim since we had a 4' above ground pool at my dad's. Nora doesn't know how to swim but we don't have a pool here. We did have a little blow up kiddie pool and I trust the kids to not get themselves killed in it. They even take Jack in it and I don't sit out there with them. I check on them occasionally, though. Obviously, Jack wouldn't be allowed out there alone with the pool or alone in the bath but he takes baths with the other kids while I'm in another room or I leave them to watch him if I need to leave the bathroom.
I'm thinking of printing off all of that and sending it in with the survey. I do care about my kids safety but I don't consider this stuff as do or die. Then again the crazy helicopter parents think I'm beyond negligent because my kids learned to use a microwave at 4 or 5, learned to use a toaster at 3, are allowed to play outside unsupervised, can roam the neighborhood (the older 3 anyway), go to the bus stop without me, stay home by themselves, go to the park on their own, etc.
In fact Brenna ran off to play with friends shortly after getting home and finishing her chores. She's 9 and took her bike (but forgot to close the garage door so I have to go do that in a minute). And Nora just left to go see if her friend could play. She's almost 6 and has been walking to and from her friend's house down the street since she was 4 1/2. She's now allowed to play outside all alone if she wishes and can go to the park if she's with the older kids. I even let her walk herself to the park the other day because I knew the older kids were already there. I think she can handle crossing 1 barely busy street.
It bugged the crap out of me that I had to fill out special paperwork for her to be allowed to get off the bus without an adult present at the bus stop. Never mind she rides the bus with her older brother and sister who are in 4th and 3rd grades. And there are about 7 other kids at their stop. And then when I got the paper to sign it was actually for her to be able to get off the bus with no one (no adult, no siblings, etc) waiting for her. It released the bus company of any liability should something happen to her while she walked the block to our house. According to the paper it was always perfectly okay for her to get off the bus with her brother or sister and there was nothing that needed to be signed for that. Grrr.
I shouldn't have to jump through all those hoops. Or worry someone will call family services because they don't agree with the way I parent. Luckily most of the parents around here do things the same way. There are always kids wandering around the area, going to stores on their own, waiting at the bus stop (except the kindy kids with no older siblings because of the hoops above), riding bikes, playing in the street, and just enjoying their childhood. I love it here. I don't even think twice about going out now and leaving the older 4 at home (or any of the older 3 by themselves).
Okay, random ranting done. I now have to go clean up the mess Meagan made in the kitchen that she doesn't think she should have to clean. Ugh.
