Heaven Can't Wait - Chapter 12
5 Apr 2018 09:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jennickels
Chapter Twelve - Best View in the Station
Thankfully, the girl figures out the toilet pretty quick. Flushing is another thing, though. She practically climbs up his entire body to get away from the noise.
“It’s okay,” he tells her softly, rubbing her back. Her grip tightens around his neck, but she doesn’t cry. Her stillness worries him. This all has to be pretty traumatic for her. So many new experiences—pain and confusion. It has to be overwhelming. He shifts her into a more comfortable position. “Let’s go for a walk, huh?”
She lays her head on his shoulder and plays with his hair while they walk the mostly empty halls. The few people they encounter give him curious looks but don’t say anything. Most likely they’ve already heard the story like Murphy did. It’s a small station—word spreads fast.
Bellamy’s not sure where to take her, though. He’s tired of sitting in Medbay, and Miller and Bryan have practically taken over his quarters. The common areas will just bring more unwanted attention, and the guard office will be a lot busier now that the shifts are changing.
So, they wander aimlessly, taking random turns until they end up in a less used area. Bellamy takes a left at the next junction and finds himself at an internal airlock used to separate sections of the station in case of a hull breach.
He taps the keypad with his ID code, unlocking the door. This section of the station is mostly off limits. It landed at an odd angle, leaving the floor tilted and the walls buckled in places. Raven insists it’s not dangerous, but they keep people away just in case. Bellamy sneaks off here to get some peace and quiet.
“I think you’ll like this,” he tells her. “Best view in the station.”
Bellamy winds through the debris and crates of stored items that have collected over the last six months until they come to the small cleared space. He sets the girl down then sits against one of the crates. She looks around, taking it all in.
“Look up,” he says, pointing to the ceiling.
A smile breaks across her face as she follows his finger. Above them, a circular window looks out at the stars twinkling far above. The room used to be some kind of observation gallery but was mostly used for conferences and council meetings in the past.
The little girl starts twirling, face turned to the stars. It is pretty magical this late at night when the room’s lights are dim and the sky is black. Bellamy smiles as he watches her dance, hair flying around her face. She falls, giggling, to the floor. When she tries to get up, she does a fair impression of Jasper after a little too much moonshine. He chuckles.
She reminds him so much of Octavia it physically hurts. He rubs at the ache in his chest. How many times had he wished he could show her the stars when they were growing up in their windowless quarters. He wanted to give her everything but managed only to take away her entire life. He lets out a long sigh that gets the girl’s attention.
She toddles over, still a little wobbly, and stops in front of him. She tilts her head to one side then the other like she’s trying to figure him out. Bellamy mimics the action. Her head flops to the other side and he copies her. She frowns so he frowns.
It takes her a few seconds to understand the game then she experiments with other facial expressions— smiles, smirks, sticking out her tongue, crossing her eyes. Bellamy copies each one, trying not to laugh.
After a minute, the girl tries a new tactic. She starts dancing around again then grabs his hand, trying to pull him to his feet.
“No,” he says, “I don’t want to dance.”
She’s not deterred and continues to yank on his arm. He lets her struggle for another minute before reluctantly getting to his feet. She immediately drops down, giving him a devilish grin.
“You little snot.” He scoops her up, throwing her a foot into the air above his head. She squeals in delight so he does it again. The sounds of her laughter scatter the dark thoughts. At least for awhile. He holds her close and spins until they both feel sick before collapsing on the floor in a heap, laughing.
The girl snuggles against his side while Bellamy tries to catch his breath. It doesn’t take long for the darkness to fill in the empty spaces again. Almost as if she can sense his mood, the girl starts babbling in Grounder as she stares at the night sky. And just like that, a warm glow pushes back the gloom, filling him with a glimmer of hope for the future.
This is why he keeps fighting. Not for himself or the human race. Not even for Octavia anymore. He fights so that the girl will have a tomorrow to wake up to. Hopefully, one not filled with suffering and despair. In that moment, he knows he’d do everything in his power to give her that future. Even if it means he doesn’t get the chance to live in it.
She girl pops her thumb in her mouth and mumbles some more. Her other hand waves in the air. He realizes she’s drawing pictures with the stars— a galactic dot-to-dot. Bellamy remembers this from science class although the stars look a lot different from down here.
He reaches up and draws his own shape. “Look, that’s the Big Dipper,” he tells her. “See how it looks like a spoon? And that’s Draco the dragon. And those three dots are Orion’s belt.”
She follows his finger as he points out the constellations, telling her the stories from the mythology book his mother read them as children. She doesn’t understand any of it, but the sound of his voice seems to lull her back to sleep. Bellamy’s eyelids grow heavy, too. He feels like all he’s done is sleep the last two days, and yet, he never feels rested.
He tries to pretend it has nothing to do with the growing anxiety he feels when he looks at the girl or thinks about how trapped he already feels. I 'm not going to make it five years. I’ll be lucky to make it one. That is if the grounders don’t kill me before I lose my sanity.
Across the room, the doors suddenly whoosh opening, startling him from his morbid thoughts. Shouts and laughter wake the girl. She sits up, rubbing her eyes. Bellamy is instantly on high alert, hugging her closer, but he relaxes when a familiar group of kids rounds the corner— Jasper in the lead.
They freeze when they see Bellamy. “Uh,” Harper says, looking sheepish. “Hey.”
“Bellamy,” Jasper shouts. “You decided to come after all. It’s the end of the world and you know it!”
Bellamy squeezes the bridge of his nose. Looks like Jasper started partying hours ago. Not that he’s surprised. The other kids look around nervously. He recognizes most of them from the dropship, but they look unsure of his reaction while he’s wearing his guard uniform.
He gets to his feet, back protesting the movement. He honestly doesn’t care what they do. It really is the end of the world so why not enjoy themselves? Part of him wishes he could join them— to let loose like that— but another part squashes that thought immediately.
No rest for the wicked, says the voice. For once Bellamy agrees with it.
The kids part like the Red Sea as he picks up the girl and leaves.
“Wait,” Jasper calls after him, “you’re not staying?”
Bellamy ignores him, leaving the group to their fun.
