haven't been around much
9 Feb 2012 02:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jennickelsHaven't been posting much lately but I read my flist every day. Don't know what I'd do without it. I'm also on twitter a lot since I can do that from my phone in my room (whereas the computer is stuck in the family room where all the noise and chaos is...and I'm not).
So here's an update of my life (as much as you can call it a life).
+ Still depressed. Meds are working some but not enough in my opinion. But it is what it is. My lack of concentration leads to not writing which leads to more depression which leads to less concentration. Vicious cycle. I still think I have ADD and the therapist mentioned that if it continues we can consider other reasons for my concentration/focus issues. It could still just be a symptom of the depression. Who knows. It's irritating.
+ Meagan had her first therapy session last week. She was less than impressed. She refused to go in by herself and I thought I better go in the first time anyway so I can let the therapist know the real issues we were having. Meagan didn't like hearing all her issues aired out like that. She left severely pissed and refused to talk to me for a few hours. I told her next time she can go in alone (I did offer to leave so she would be more free to talk to the therapist) and bitch about me all she wants. The therapist (actually a social worker) said she'd talk to the doctors about having her tested for behavior disorders (like ODD).
+ Owen's bike was stolen last week from our front porch. He's been warned many times about leaving it out front but everyone does it. Heck people leave their bikes lying in the middle of the sidewalk several houses away and they are always there the next day (or week). Figures it would be Owen's bike. It must have been a high schooler or middle schooler because it happened while we were at Meagan's therapy session last Wednesday. We left at 11am and got home before 1pm. That day was a half day for the entire district which means the high schoolers got home around 11:45, the middle schoolers at noon and the elementary kids at 1pm. The kids have asked around, told their friends and scoured the neighborhood but haven't seen it.
+ Owen's troubles don't end with his missing bike. Last Saturday he was hanging out with his friends Melina, Adam and Andrew (and Andrew's little sister Lexi). He hasn't played with Andrew since before Christmas (I think). They had a falling out over Andrew's behavior. He was teasing and picking on Owen which was bad enough but then started doing some things that Owen knew was wrong and just decided it would be better not to hang out with him. They were good friends before that. But, for some reason, he decided to play with him on Saturday. They were out all day and then around 6 or 7pm I guess he came storming in and told my husband he was tired and going to bed. Which was odd. A few minutes later some of the neighbor kids (Meagan's friends) knocked on the door. Apparently Andrew decided to break into a car in front of Alyssa's house (they live around the corner) and steal stuff. Owen says he never got in the car and was trying to talk Andrew out of it, telling him to stop and put it all back. Alyssa and Bailey initially said both boys were in the car (I really don't see Owen doing that, though). I guess Alyssa's dad caught them and they ran off. I was glad they didn't call the cops but was pissed beyond belief. I've been telling Owen over and over that if his friends are doing something he knows is wrong he should just leave and/or find a trusted adult and tell them. He was really upset and I think he learned his lesson. He never denied it and just wanted to know how long he was grounded.
+ Jack's eyes have cleared up! I'm so excited. His tear ducts were blocked so he's had a constant eye infection since he was about a week old. We've been through this before with Brenna but she had to have surgery at 18 months to fix it. We figured the same would happen with Jack but then last week I noticed his right eye wasn't even runny although the left was a mess. Two days went by with the right eye clear and then one day the left eye looked pretty good. The day after that both were fine. No gunk or puss or icky stuff oozing out. The right eye has had a few days where it had a little goop coming out but nothing like it was and it'll be like that a day and then be fine the next. The left eye hasn't gooped back in a week (and it was the worse of the two eyes). I'm so thrilled he won't need surgery. Especially since he still doesn't have any medical insurance.
+ I hate insurance companies. I hate the way medicine is run in the US. It sucks that people have to worry about taking their kids to the doctor because they can't pay. For those that are new to my journal, Jack has never had insurance. He's almost 19 months old. We had issues getting his birth certificate because we moved when he was 3 weeks old. We finally got it when he was 6 months but then had problems getting his SSN. Because of not having a SSN we weren't able to get him on my husband's insurance from work. We only had 90 days to submit the number. So we knew we'd have to wait until open enrollment in October of last year (with the insurance kicking in this January). We finally got his SSN in September (the application was submitted in July right after he turned 1). But the paperwork got screwed up and he wasn't added to the insurance. So now we're back to applying for Apple Health (Washington State medicaid for kids). Every time Jack is out of sorts, sniffling or coughing I freak out about him needing to see a doctor. My kids are rarely sick and when they are it's really mild but the fact that he's not insured scares me because if something bad does happen...we're screwed. He was sick for a couple of days and really lethargic and I was starting to panic (damn anxiety) but he was fine a couple days later.
+ Jack is also talking a lot more. He has a bit of a speech delay (not unlike Brenna again). He was only saying a handful of words that were really hard to understand unless you were around him a lot. In the last month his speech has really blossomed. He's still hard to understand but he says some cute things. Some of his words: mama, dada, bubbo (which means any of his brothers and sisters), bubub (Buddy, his stuffed dog he got for Christmas), hi, bubye, keykey (kitty kitty), mil (milk), wawa (water), ball, bow-e ball (bouncy ball), fooball (football), tutdown (touchdown), ca (car), uh-oh, cheetick (cheese stick), eat, spoo (spoon or fork), bow (bowl or plate), lalas (socks...no idea why he calls them lalas but he does, lol), baby, powa (powder, he likes baby powder on his butt, lol), poopoo, pee (these are both really new and, like most boys, he thinks they are hilarious to say), Spongebob, more, up, out, eye, ear, no (nose). I think that's most of them. In contrast, Brenna only knew 2 words at the same age (mama and dada) so he's not as far behind as she was but he should be starting to use 2-3 word phrases and/or short sentences. He's getting there, though.
+ Meagan gave me her chest cold. She was sick for like 2 weeks and then suddenly just got better. Which was the exact time I started to feel sick. She's evil, I tell you. Between her constantly coming to me with insane worries (zombies, god killing her for bad thoughts, her dolls coming to life, her slippers killing her for thinking mean things about them) and now this cold she is determined to kill me I think. So I ended up taking a few days off from cleaning house. I was tired and cranky and when I'd get moving it got harder to breathe which would cause me to cough which made it harder to breathe. You get the idea. It's not super bad (still haven't had the flu this season so I'm thankful for that) but it's getting on my nerves. I finally got the house back into some kind of order yesterday and today.
+ Oh, on the topic of Meagan...she came to me last night and said it hurt "here and here" and pointed to two spots on her chest. Guess where. Oy, so not ready for her to grow up. Neither is she. She was mortified that I confirmed her worst nightmare...that she was getting boobs. On the plus side, we found out all we have to do to get her to clear the room is talk about boobs. Same for Brenna. Neither want to think, let alone talk, about growing up. Not sure what they're going to do when their periods start (Meagan is almost 12 and Brenna is 9). When I bring that up they literally shove their fingers in their ears and scream LALALALALA as they run from the room. It's funny but not productive for initiating "the talk".
+ More puberty news: while watching the Superbowl there was one commercial (KIA I think) that had the guy having all these dreams and he's racing his car but all the spectators are girls in bikinis. Yeah, anyway, the commercial ends and we're laughing over it and Owen goes, "my favorite part was all the girls". Oh boy. Just a couple months ago girls were gross and now he's drooling over bikini-clad models. He's only 10! He's not supposed to grow up yet. He also admitted to me last week that there's a girl he likes in his class but he won't ask her "out" because he's scared. Not of the girl but of another one that likes him and has already asked him out. He's afraid to make her mad because she's CRAZY (so he says). The trials of 4th grade, lol.
+ Um, finally broke down and picked up Hunger Games. Meagan has been reading James Patterson's Maximum Ride series and is on book 6 (there are 7 in the series so far) and I asked her what she was planning to read when she was done, mentioning Hunger Games and she was like, "yeah, probably." So I read the back at the store one day and thought it sounded interesting. Hubby picked it up cheap at Wal-mart. I had planned to read it first so I would know what was going on because, one, Meagan reads really slow and, two, she spoils everything. But she got home from school, saw the book and dove right in. She's now on chapter 6 and wants me to read it while she's at school so we can discuss it, lol. At least she's reading.
+ Income taxes came in this week. We've already spent too much money. Hubby paid off the truck and we bought some clothes for Jack, shoes for Brenna and Owen, some more food that we needed, ink for the printer and a few other small things for around the house. We're not looking for a dryer and fridge but I'm afraid we've already spent most of the money. We owe Oregon state $2000 (once I file the taxes). I want to pay at least $1000 when I file and then set up a payment plan for the rest. We also haven't paid any of our outstanding medical bills (all have gone to collections). Amazing how fast $6800 can get spent. But it's nice to not have to worry about feeding the family for a little while.
+ Probably the bright spot of my week...I picked up a 3-hole puncher. Yeah, thrilling, I know. But I've been wanting one for months but couldn't justify the cost when we could barely buy groceries. Since I got it I've punched all my printed off stories and put them in binders so they're not just laying all over. I have 1 binder that is just my NaNo 2010 SG-1 epic WIP, one that is all my That 70s Show fics (1 finished, 2 WIP; the other finished one wasn't printed). The other one has all my WIPs from last year (most;y SG-1) and the Angel fic I was writing for NaNo 08. All 3 are packed tight. The last binder will be my finished stories but I realized just about all the copies I had in my room were ones I edited and not the finished copies so I have to print them all off nice and neat. I'm so thrilled to have this all organized. I even went through all my notebooks and used little sticky flags to highlight WIP that still need to be typed up and blotbunnies I jotted down. I get such a high from organizing.
+ TV time: I'm behind in just about everything. I've lost interest in House and Bones completely. I've kept up with Castle (which is probably my favorite current show now and my watching is mostly because my husband loves the show so he'll watch what's DVRed while I'm in the room), the Syfy shows (Being Human, Lost Girl--which is OK). This is what's on the DVR that I have to watch:
YIKES, that's a lot of TV. I am caught up on Big Bang Theory, HIMYM and 2 Broke Girls thanks to hubby watching them when he gets home from work before I've retreated to my room. We also finished all of our Terra Nova episodes we had recorded. I thought the season finale was really good. And I just set the DVR to record The River. I watched the pilot on Tuesday and really liked it.
+ Kind of obsessed... with Mike Holmes. He hosts a construction show on DIY/HGTV. Because of him I have a little bit more faith in the human race. He's such a great guy, wish there were more people like him and his crew in the world.
+ Writing: getting nothing done. It is so frustrating. I skipped a bunch of challenges in all my comms because of lack of focus and just being unable to write anything. I'm so sad. I was hoping to get some done this afternoon, just some drabbles for various challenges but hubby just called and said to get Jack ready and we'll go to Olive Garden. Sigh. I tried to tell him I didn't want to go but he won't hear of it. If he wants to do something then we better be ready when he says or he gets pissed. At least I'll get some yummy chicken alfredo out of it. But I hate all this "want to write, can't get the words out". It's driving me nuts. I think the TV in my room is part of the problem. It's too much of a distraction but I need it to relax any more. And watch Holmes on Homes (see above). Too bad it doesn't have a DVR because then I might be able to turn it off if I knew I was recording stuff.
Well, better go get Jack's shoes on. It has taken me like 2 hours to write this entire post (in that time I've eaten, vacuumed, dug through Jack's toybox looking for cars and puzzles pieces, used the bathroom, did some laundry and answered the phone). When will my life return to normal?
So here's an update of my life (as much as you can call it a life).
+ Still depressed. Meds are working some but not enough in my opinion. But it is what it is. My lack of concentration leads to not writing which leads to more depression which leads to less concentration. Vicious cycle. I still think I have ADD and the therapist mentioned that if it continues we can consider other reasons for my concentration/focus issues. It could still just be a symptom of the depression. Who knows. It's irritating.
+ Meagan had her first therapy session last week. She was less than impressed. She refused to go in by herself and I thought I better go in the first time anyway so I can let the therapist know the real issues we were having. Meagan didn't like hearing all her issues aired out like that. She left severely pissed and refused to talk to me for a few hours. I told her next time she can go in alone (I did offer to leave so she would be more free to talk to the therapist) and bitch about me all she wants. The therapist (actually a social worker) said she'd talk to the doctors about having her tested for behavior disorders (like ODD).
+ Owen's bike was stolen last week from our front porch. He's been warned many times about leaving it out front but everyone does it. Heck people leave their bikes lying in the middle of the sidewalk several houses away and they are always there the next day (or week). Figures it would be Owen's bike. It must have been a high schooler or middle schooler because it happened while we were at Meagan's therapy session last Wednesday. We left at 11am and got home before 1pm. That day was a half day for the entire district which means the high schoolers got home around 11:45, the middle schoolers at noon and the elementary kids at 1pm. The kids have asked around, told their friends and scoured the neighborhood but haven't seen it.
+ Owen's troubles don't end with his missing bike. Last Saturday he was hanging out with his friends Melina, Adam and Andrew (and Andrew's little sister Lexi). He hasn't played with Andrew since before Christmas (I think). They had a falling out over Andrew's behavior. He was teasing and picking on Owen which was bad enough but then started doing some things that Owen knew was wrong and just decided it would be better not to hang out with him. They were good friends before that. But, for some reason, he decided to play with him on Saturday. They were out all day and then around 6 or 7pm I guess he came storming in and told my husband he was tired and going to bed. Which was odd. A few minutes later some of the neighbor kids (Meagan's friends) knocked on the door. Apparently Andrew decided to break into a car in front of Alyssa's house (they live around the corner) and steal stuff. Owen says he never got in the car and was trying to talk Andrew out of it, telling him to stop and put it all back. Alyssa and Bailey initially said both boys were in the car (I really don't see Owen doing that, though). I guess Alyssa's dad caught them and they ran off. I was glad they didn't call the cops but was pissed beyond belief. I've been telling Owen over and over that if his friends are doing something he knows is wrong he should just leave and/or find a trusted adult and tell them. He was really upset and I think he learned his lesson. He never denied it and just wanted to know how long he was grounded.
+ Jack's eyes have cleared up! I'm so excited. His tear ducts were blocked so he's had a constant eye infection since he was about a week old. We've been through this before with Brenna but she had to have surgery at 18 months to fix it. We figured the same would happen with Jack but then last week I noticed his right eye wasn't even runny although the left was a mess. Two days went by with the right eye clear and then one day the left eye looked pretty good. The day after that both were fine. No gunk or puss or icky stuff oozing out. The right eye has had a few days where it had a little goop coming out but nothing like it was and it'll be like that a day and then be fine the next. The left eye hasn't gooped back in a week (and it was the worse of the two eyes). I'm so thrilled he won't need surgery. Especially since he still doesn't have any medical insurance.
+ I hate insurance companies. I hate the way medicine is run in the US. It sucks that people have to worry about taking their kids to the doctor because they can't pay. For those that are new to my journal, Jack has never had insurance. He's almost 19 months old. We had issues getting his birth certificate because we moved when he was 3 weeks old. We finally got it when he was 6 months but then had problems getting his SSN. Because of not having a SSN we weren't able to get him on my husband's insurance from work. We only had 90 days to submit the number. So we knew we'd have to wait until open enrollment in October of last year (with the insurance kicking in this January). We finally got his SSN in September (the application was submitted in July right after he turned 1). But the paperwork got screwed up and he wasn't added to the insurance. So now we're back to applying for Apple Health (Washington State medicaid for kids). Every time Jack is out of sorts, sniffling or coughing I freak out about him needing to see a doctor. My kids are rarely sick and when they are it's really mild but the fact that he's not insured scares me because if something bad does happen...we're screwed. He was sick for a couple of days and really lethargic and I was starting to panic (damn anxiety) but he was fine a couple days later.
+ Jack is also talking a lot more. He has a bit of a speech delay (not unlike Brenna again). He was only saying a handful of words that were really hard to understand unless you were around him a lot. In the last month his speech has really blossomed. He's still hard to understand but he says some cute things. Some of his words: mama, dada, bubbo (which means any of his brothers and sisters), bubub (Buddy, his stuffed dog he got for Christmas), hi, bubye, keykey (kitty kitty), mil (milk), wawa (water), ball, bow-e ball (bouncy ball), fooball (football), tutdown (touchdown), ca (car), uh-oh, cheetick (cheese stick), eat, spoo (spoon or fork), bow (bowl or plate), lalas (socks...no idea why he calls them lalas but he does, lol), baby, powa (powder, he likes baby powder on his butt, lol), poopoo, pee (these are both really new and, like most boys, he thinks they are hilarious to say), Spongebob, more, up, out, eye, ear, no (nose). I think that's most of them. In contrast, Brenna only knew 2 words at the same age (mama and dada) so he's not as far behind as she was but he should be starting to use 2-3 word phrases and/or short sentences. He's getting there, though.
+ Meagan gave me her chest cold. She was sick for like 2 weeks and then suddenly just got better. Which was the exact time I started to feel sick. She's evil, I tell you. Between her constantly coming to me with insane worries (zombies, god killing her for bad thoughts, her dolls coming to life, her slippers killing her for thinking mean things about them) and now this cold she is determined to kill me I think. So I ended up taking a few days off from cleaning house. I was tired and cranky and when I'd get moving it got harder to breathe which would cause me to cough which made it harder to breathe. You get the idea. It's not super bad (still haven't had the flu this season so I'm thankful for that) but it's getting on my nerves. I finally got the house back into some kind of order yesterday and today.
+ Oh, on the topic of Meagan...she came to me last night and said it hurt "here and here" and pointed to two spots on her chest. Guess where. Oy, so not ready for her to grow up. Neither is she. She was mortified that I confirmed her worst nightmare...that she was getting boobs. On the plus side, we found out all we have to do to get her to clear the room is talk about boobs. Same for Brenna. Neither want to think, let alone talk, about growing up. Not sure what they're going to do when their periods start (Meagan is almost 12 and Brenna is 9). When I bring that up they literally shove their fingers in their ears and scream LALALALALA as they run from the room. It's funny but not productive for initiating "the talk".
+ More puberty news: while watching the Superbowl there was one commercial (KIA I think) that had the guy having all these dreams and he's racing his car but all the spectators are girls in bikinis. Yeah, anyway, the commercial ends and we're laughing over it and Owen goes, "my favorite part was all the girls". Oh boy. Just a couple months ago girls were gross and now he's drooling over bikini-clad models. He's only 10! He's not supposed to grow up yet. He also admitted to me last week that there's a girl he likes in his class but he won't ask her "out" because he's scared. Not of the girl but of another one that likes him and has already asked him out. He's afraid to make her mad because she's CRAZY (so he says). The trials of 4th grade, lol.
+ Um, finally broke down and picked up Hunger Games. Meagan has been reading James Patterson's Maximum Ride series and is on book 6 (there are 7 in the series so far) and I asked her what she was planning to read when she was done, mentioning Hunger Games and she was like, "yeah, probably." So I read the back at the store one day and thought it sounded interesting. Hubby picked it up cheap at Wal-mart. I had planned to read it first so I would know what was going on because, one, Meagan reads really slow and, two, she spoils everything. But she got home from school, saw the book and dove right in. She's now on chapter 6 and wants me to read it while she's at school so we can discuss it, lol. At least she's reading.
+ Income taxes came in this week. We've already spent too much money. Hubby paid off the truck and we bought some clothes for Jack, shoes for Brenna and Owen, some more food that we needed, ink for the printer and a few other small things for around the house. We're not looking for a dryer and fridge but I'm afraid we've already spent most of the money. We owe Oregon state $2000 (once I file the taxes). I want to pay at least $1000 when I file and then set up a payment plan for the rest. We also haven't paid any of our outstanding medical bills (all have gone to collections). Amazing how fast $6800 can get spent. But it's nice to not have to worry about feeding the family for a little while.
+ Probably the bright spot of my week...I picked up a 3-hole puncher. Yeah, thrilling, I know. But I've been wanting one for months but couldn't justify the cost when we could barely buy groceries. Since I got it I've punched all my printed off stories and put them in binders so they're not just laying all over. I have 1 binder that is just my NaNo 2010 SG-1 epic WIP, one that is all my That 70s Show fics (1 finished, 2 WIP; the other finished one wasn't printed). The other one has all my WIPs from last year (most;y SG-1) and the Angel fic I was writing for NaNo 08. All 3 are packed tight. The last binder will be my finished stories but I realized just about all the copies I had in my room were ones I edited and not the finished copies so I have to print them all off nice and neat. I'm so thrilled to have this all organized. I even went through all my notebooks and used little sticky flags to highlight WIP that still need to be typed up and blotbunnies I jotted down. I get such a high from organizing.
+ TV time: I'm behind in just about everything. I've lost interest in House and Bones completely. I've kept up with Castle (which is probably my favorite current show now and my watching is mostly because my husband loves the show so he'll watch what's DVRed while I'm in the room), the Syfy shows (Being Human, Lost Girl--which is OK). This is what's on the DVR that I have to watch:
- 1 ep of Bones
- 5 eps of Pan Am (not even sure if those are all ones I missed because the DVR might have deleted some to record new ones)
- 3 eps of Finder (watched the 1st one but keep forgetting it's on)
- 4 eps of Fringe
- 5 eps of House (I watched like the first 3 or 4 eps of the season and like the new team but... eh, just not interested)
- 4 eps of Alcatraz (caught the pilot but, again, keep forgetting it's on)
- 5 eps of Justified
- 3 eps of Last Man Standing (I love this show, Tim Allen is just as funny now as he was when I was a kid)
- 5 eps of New Girl
- 1 ep of Suburgatory
YIKES, that's a lot of TV. I am caught up on Big Bang Theory, HIMYM and 2 Broke Girls thanks to hubby watching them when he gets home from work before I've retreated to my room. We also finished all of our Terra Nova episodes we had recorded. I thought the season finale was really good. And I just set the DVR to record The River. I watched the pilot on Tuesday and really liked it.
+ Kind of obsessed... with Mike Holmes. He hosts a construction show on DIY/HGTV. Because of him I have a little bit more faith in the human race. He's such a great guy, wish there were more people like him and his crew in the world.
+ Writing: getting nothing done. It is so frustrating. I skipped a bunch of challenges in all my comms because of lack of focus and just being unable to write anything. I'm so sad. I was hoping to get some done this afternoon, just some drabbles for various challenges but hubby just called and said to get Jack ready and we'll go to Olive Garden. Sigh. I tried to tell him I didn't want to go but he won't hear of it. If he wants to do something then we better be ready when he says or he gets pissed. At least I'll get some yummy chicken alfredo out of it. But I hate all this "want to write, can't get the words out". It's driving me nuts. I think the TV in my room is part of the problem. It's too much of a distraction but I need it to relax any more. And watch Holmes on Homes (see above). Too bad it doesn't have a DVR because then I might be able to turn it off if I knew I was recording stuff.
Well, better go get Jack's shoes on. It has taken me like 2 hours to write this entire post (in that time I've eaten, vacuumed, dug through Jack's toybox looking for cars and puzzles pieces, used the bathroom, did some laundry and answered the phone). When will my life return to normal?
