Angel fic: Into the Light

Into the Light
by jennickels (aka Jen Connelly)
Angel the Series
Angel/Cordy UST
1064 words
rating: PG
WARNINGS:

"He knew then, no matter how hard, he'd make that dream happen. He'd see Connor walk into the light. And it would be the most beautiful thing he'd ever see."

don't own... wish I did, but I don't. No infringement intended.

---

"You were right," Angel said when he heard Cordelia approach.

"About what?" She sounded tired. And a little bit lost.

"Needing help with Connor." Cordy came to stand next to him in the garden. Angel reached his hand into the light, his skin instantly prickling with heat. He only held it there a moment.


He glanced over to see Cordy smiling thoughtfully at him. "Of course I was right. This is Cordelia Chase you're talking to."

Angel couldn't stop the amused snort that bubbled up. Or the foolish grin that pulled at his mouth. Cordelia always had the affect on him. He was rewarded with an even bigger smile from Cordy. God, he loved her. He quickly pushed the thought away. No point dwelling on things that would never happen. He felt his smile falter.

"What?" Cordy asked, her brow knit up with concern.

Angel sighed. "What am I going to do?"

"About what?"

"Everything." He sighed again. "What kind of life is he going to have? Someone always trying to kill him, family that could be killed any moment, no mother, and a father that skulks around in the shadows. That'll go over real well with the PTA."

Cordy laughed. "Angel, it's-"

"Don't say it's going to be okay."

"I wasn't," she said with a devilish grin. "What I was going to say was that it's perfectly normal to have those worries."

Angel stretched his hand past the shadow again, watching his skin smoke. "Yeah, real normal."

Pulling his hand back, Cordy sighed. "Okay, so your worries aren't particularly 'normal'. But worrying about the future is. I know things seem overwhelming right now but they'll get better."

"Is that a vision thing?"

Cordy smiled up at him, her eyes twinkling. "No, it's a faith thing. Faith in all of us, the world, goodness, The Powers. And you. I know we'll figure this out. Besides, it's a bit early for the PTA to be involved."

She continued to stare at him and Angel realized she was still holding his hand. His stomach immediately twisted into a giant knot that worked its way up to his chest. It constantly amazed him how she could turn him inside out with just a look, a small touch.

Angel tried to swallow but found his throat unwilling to cooperate. Cordy's thumb made little circles on the back of his hand causing every inch of his skin to tingle—the kind of fire that burned from the inside, not from without. He shivered slightly as the heat traveled up his spine, igniting more nerve endings than he thought possible to have.

Cordy suddenly stopped her thumb, some indescribable emotions playing across her face. Angel couldn't stop staring. She was so damn beautiful. And smart. And strong. And why the hell would she ever be interested in him?

He shook his head, hoping to clear the fog. The movement seemed to bring Cordy out of her trance. She dropped his hand and began playing with the hem of her shirt. Angel closed his eyes and tried to breath even, to center himself a little.

An uneasy quiet built between them. Angel thought he might explode if one of them didn't say something. Soon. Cordy opened her mouth a few times but no words came out. She seemed to be trying to sort something out in her head. Angel waited.

Finally, she cleared her throat. "I should..." She hooked her thumb over her shoulder at the hotel. "I told Groo we'd leave early and have dinner. Just the two of us. It's been awhile and I think he was feeling... left out."

If Angel had a heart it would have been crushed under the weight of those words.

"I... " She must have decided not to finish that sentence. Instead she headed for the door with a sigh.

Angel stared at the line where the light met the dark—a line he couldn't cross. He was lucky he didn't need to breathe because his lungs had stopped functioning at the mention of the Groosalug. He waited for the sound of the door, contemplating how quickly he'd burn up if he took just one more step. It'd be a lot less painful than what he was feeling at the moment.

"Angel," Cordy said softly. He half turned his head—acknowledging her without actually looking at her. "I want you to know that no matter what happens... " Angel felt his chest tighten again, an intense jealousy building inside him that he fought to control. "I'll always be here. For Connor and you. To be the one that walks in the light when you can't."

The door clicked shut before Angel could formulate a response. Instead he took a deep breath, forcing his body back into action. In the garden, birds chirped; trees reached into the sky, swaying in the breeze; flowers opened to the warmth and nourishment of the sun. A sun he could never walk under. It was a gorgeous day and he knew he should be appreciating the beauty of it, but all he could see was the line he couldn't cross. Both lines.

Angel glanced over his shoulder, Cordy and Groo just visible inside the doors. She hugged him tightly, a bright smile on her face. She looked happy. She should be happy, Angel thought. He wanted her to be happy. Too bad his noble gesture had to hurt so damned bad.

Just then, Fred poked her head out. "Someone's asking for his Daddy. Well, not really asking because he can't talk yet. He's just fussin' and I thought it'd be better to nip that in the... Not that fussin' is a bad thing. He's just a baby and they tend to do that and I don't find it annoying or anything like that."

Angel grinned in spite of his dismal mood. "It's okay, Fred. I'll be in, in a minute."

The door shut again leaving Angel alone in the garden. He sighed. At least Connor wouldn't be stuck in the shadows. An image of Cordelia pushing Connor on the swings at the park popped into his head. He smiled at the thought, a little of the cold inside melting away. He knew then, no matter how hard, he'd make that dream happen. He'd see Connor walk into the light. And it would be the most beautiful thing he'd ever see.

Stargate SG-1 fic: Harsh Reality

Hey, what do you know... SG-1 fic. Rewatching all these other shows has really pulled me away from my main fandom. But, then again, you get Angel and Buffy fic instead.

Harsh Reality
by jennickels (aka Jen Connelly)
Stargate SG-1
Jack/Sam
651 words
rating: PG
WARNINGS:

"This shouldn't be happening. His one real fear when he took command of the SGC was not being there to save his team. Four months in and the nightmare was unfolding around him."

don't own... wish I did, but I don't. No infringement intended.

---

The carpet felt rough under Jack's feet, every fiber digging and tearing into his flesh. Everything felt like that. Harsh. Lights too bright. Every noise like a sledgehammer to his head. Even the air was wrong—his skin crawling to get away from the assault, his throat closing around every breath. Everything was hard angles and sharp edges.


Except the colors. Those were washed out to a dull, lifeless gray. No more blues and yellows, green or brown. Just gray. The edges of his vision blurring and fading so that it didn't really matter anyway.

Jack sat on the couch in his living room, the phone still clutched tightly in his hands. So tight he imagined the plastic cracking into a thousand pieces. Which wouldn't be a bad thing. At this moment there wasn't anything Jack hated more than that phone. Except maybe Daniel.

That wasn't fair and he knew it—it wasn't Daniel's fault, he was just the bearer of bad news. His chest tightened, guilt creeping into the empty little crevices around his heart. This shouldn't be happening. The thought played on a continuous loop in Jack's head. Only occasionally drowned out by Daniel's words.

"Jack..." He sounded beaten, his usual enthusiasm washed away. "I'm sorry."

Jack had barely heard the words, his mind immediately racing with every horrible scenario he could imagine. He'd only half listened to Daniel after that.

"We couldn't have known. Everything looked fine when we gated in." Daniel's voice cracked; he was crying. "The attack came out of nowhere. Me and Teal'c barely had time to get to the 'Gate."

"Jaffa?" He was surprised he still had a voice.

Daniel sucked in a rattling breath. "Natives."

Jack had completely tuned him out at that point—Daniel's words just a jumble of noise his brain didn't want to sort out. This shouldn't be happening. His one real fear when he took command of the SGC was not being there to save his team. Four months in and the nightmare was unfolding around him.

The walls began to move—bending and swaying—and the ground began to pitch wildly. His vision tunneled to an impossibly small point; the pounding of his heart the only sound he could hear. Jack knew this feeling, he'd been there before—the moment he walked into his bedroom and saw all that blood. Except all he could see now was Sam lying battered and broken alone on some alien planet. He wished he'd just pass out already.

"Jack? Jack, can you hear me?" Daniel's voice sounded distant. Jack's eyes slid down to the object in his hands. Slowly he raised the phone to his ear. How long had Daniel been talking? Jack had lost all track of time. As far as he was concerned, time stopped the moment Daniel had told him Sam was lost.

"I don't know how... I can't... Oh, god, Jack. It's... " Daniel was blubbering. Jack fought to make sense of the words between the sobs. "Jack, you need to get down here. Now." Behind Daniel's voice, Jack could hear the klaxons, people shouting, medical teams being called. And the doctor on duty saying how it was a damned miracle.

Jack was on his feet in a second, the phone forgotten. The world burst back into vibrant technicolor. The noises of everyday life suddenly soothing instead of painful. He fumbled with his shoes, nearly fell down the front steps, dropped his keys three times. He needed to calm down. What good would it do if he got himself killed on his way to Sam's resurrection?

Slowly he backed out of the drive, his heart hammering painfully in his chest, his hands shaking so badly he could barely hold the steering wheel. He knew this wasn't the last time he'd have to live through this terror, but Sam was alive and that's all that mattered to him right now.