I woke up feeling much better today. I don't know if it's because my body has decided to normalize, the writing helped me calm down or I just imagined the crazy. I'm not so on edge this morning. Although I'd rather feel like I did a couple weeks ago. This is better than the last few days at least.
We have errands to run today so I'll remind him to call. Not sure if he will. He says stuff like that all the time but always "forgets" and the I start acting normal so he thinks everything's fine and I don't need whatever it was. Thirteen years of marriage (almost fourteen years we've been together) and he still doesn't realize that the "normal" he sees is a mask, an identity I put on for my family so they don't have to see the real me I feel inside. You get so good at lying to others about it you forget how not to sometimes.
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Date: 18 Mar 2013 04:00 pm (UTC)I woke up feeling much better today. I don't know if it's because my body has decided to normalize, the writing helped me calm down or I just imagined the crazy. I'm not so on edge this morning. Although I'd rather feel like I did a couple weeks ago. This is better than the last few days at least.
We have errands to run today so I'll remind him to call. Not sure if he will. He says stuff like that all the time but always "forgets" and the I start acting normal so he thinks everything's fine and I don't need whatever it was. Thirteen years of marriage (almost fourteen years we've been together) and he still doesn't realize that the "normal" he sees is a mask, an identity I put on for my family so they don't have to see the real me I feel inside. You get so good at lying to others about it you forget how not to sometimes.