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jennickels
The morning before Bellamy and Lincoln make their daring attempt to infiltrate Mt. Weather, Bellamy has a quiet moment with Clarke. He doesn't know what to say to her anymore, but he's tired of pretending he doesn't care.
Bellamy pulls the worn shirt over his head. The fabric stretches across his chest. He’s not sure where they found these clothes, but half are too small, and the other half are too big. He looks ridiculous, but it’s the best plan they have. As much as he pushed to go on this mission, he has to admit he’s terrified. He’s not sure what scares him more—the Reapers or the Mountain Men. Either way, he’s sure this is going to get messy.
The flap to the tent opens behind him. Clarke. He cocks his head to let her know it’s okay to come in while he tugs on the Grounder boots. Too big. He feels like a clown. Clarke’s gaze burns into his neck, but he continues to tie his shoes as slowly as possible. He’s not sure what to say to her. Things have been so crazy the last few days, and his emotions are all over the place with this mission coming up. He wishes he could read her mind so they could skip the inevitable awkward conversation.
Finally, he can’t stall any longer. He looks up at her, and damn, if she doesn’t look small. Like a kid. He doesn’t like thinking of her that way. She’s too strong, but right now she looks tiny and frightened.
“Clarke?”
She bites her lip. Bellamy can tell she’s trying to say something so he waits for her to gather her thoughts while his own bounce around in his head so fast he can’t collect them. Finally, she takes a deep breath. “Have you got everything you need? Lexa is looking around for gear that might fit better. We’ve got a little bit of time-”
“Clarke,” he says, standing in front of her, “stop, okay?”
Her mouth snaps shut, eyes wide.
Bellamy sighs then pushes a hand through his hair. God, he doesn’t know what to say. Why does it have to be so hard? A few days ago things were fine—now he doesn’t know how to talk to her.
“I just want you to be safe,” she whispers.
He closes his eyes because they both know he won’t be safe. Not even close. If he makes it into Mt. Weather it will be a miracle, and he doesn’t want to think about how this might be the last conversation they have.
There are things he wishes he could tell her. They’re on the tip of his tongue, but he bites them all back because that’s easier than admitting his feelings.
Instead, he steps closer, resting his hands on her shoulders until she looks up at him. “We’re going to do this, Clarke. You know how I know?” She shakes her head. “Because we can do anything together.”
“Bellamy, I-” She swallows hard. “I don’t want to lose you.”
Before he can change his mind, he pulls her into a hug. Her arms slip around his waist, holding tight. “I’m going to be fine. You let me worry about Mt. Weather, and you keep everyone out here safe.”
Clarke nods into his chest. He rests his chin on the top of her head, trying not to think of the lies he keeps telling. “Everything is going to be okay,” he mumbles into her hair. Her breath is warm against his neck and leaves his skin tingling.
He catches himself before he presses a kiss to her forehead then thinks, what the hell? They’re running out of time, and he’s tired of pretending she doesn’t mean anything to him. Clarke leans into the kiss with a sigh, her fingers twisting into his shirt. Outside, someone calls his name.
“Be safe,” she murmurs.
“May we meet again.”
Clarke steps back, wiping her eyes. “May we meet again.”
He doesn’t look back or he might just change his mind.
