Heaven Can't Wait - Chapter 31

[jennickels]

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Chapter Thirty-One - Cursed

“Cursed?” asks Abby. “Why would they think that?”

Indra frowns. “My people are very superstitious, and this girl is nothing but bad luck.”

Bellamy’s whole body tenses. How could they say that? She’s a little girl for crying out loud.

“Apparently,” says Octavia, “people around her tend to die. They believe anyone that interacts with her will meet the same end.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Bellamy says before he can stop himself. “Why would they think that?”

“From what we’ve gathered there have been a number of mysterious deaths attributed to her. Her mother died in childbirth then the midwife disappeared. Another that wandered too close to their house was found dead days later. Her father, himself, died young. And the woman entrusted with her care after that perished in the City of Light.”

Bellamy shakes his head. “That’s all circumstantial. She wasn’t responsible for her mother’s death or what happened in the City of Light. She wasn’t responsible for any of that.”

Octavia shrugs. “To them, it all adds up to a curse.”

Am I really going to leave Heaven to be raised by these people? Curses and revenge ideology. It’s insane.

Are we really any better, though?

He thinks so. At least we don’t blame toddlers for things outside of their control.

Indra’s glare scorches his skin. “I will widen the search to families outside of her village. I am confident we will find a suitable home in time. Until then-” She narrows her eyes—that sour look back.

Bellamy holds his breath. A cold sweat breaks out down his back, and his insides twist into a painful knot. He has a nearly uncontrollable urge to bolt. But there’s nowhere to go so he stands, unable to breathe.

Abby pushes past Kane to stand between Bellamy and Indra. “Until then, it would be in Heaven’s best interest to stay near the infirmary. She’s not fully recovered from her exposure to the Black Rain and requires observation.”

“She should stay with Bellamy,” Octavia says suddenly.

That gets everyone’s attention. Bellamy’s eyes bug out. Did she really just say that? Did she just side with me?

Indra’s nostrils flare as she turns to Octavia.

Octavia shows no fear. “For the time being. If this is truly about the girl’s well-being then she should stay where she’s settled for now.”

That sounds like a challenge. Bellamy has no idea what to make of it.

“I agree,” Abby says. “Moving from home to home while looking for a permanent place would only hamper her development. She needs something stable.”

And you’re not stable, the voice reminds him. Far from it.

Bellamy hugs Heaven a little tighter. She lays her head on his shoulder, nuzzling his neck while her fingers continue to twist his hair.

Indra grunts a reluctant approval. “I will be in contact about these attacks, Kane. Hopefully, we can find a solution before things get out of control.” She leaves with a flourish of her coat.

Bellamy ducks out after her before Kane can start pressuring him about the job again. After the narrow escape with Heaven, he’s not sure he can take any more abuse. His heart isn’t strong enough.

You know you’re going to take the job so why wait? Just get it over with already so you can move on with your life.

He glances down at Heaven sucking her thumb. She looks up at him with a soft smile. That’s why I’m waiting.

You don’t want to move on with your life.

No.

Octavia surprises him by waiting outside the door. He’s not sure what to say or do around her that won’t spook her so he stays quiet and waits. She cocks her head then lets out a breath before speaking. “Head of security, huh? When did that happen?”

Bellamy’s face flames up. “It hasn’t,” he mumbles. “Kane is insane.”

Octavia actually laughs. “Is it that crazy of an idea?”

He doesn’t have a reply for that. Is she complimenting me? She thinks I’d make a good Commander? Is she insane, too?

Probably. The ground makes everyone a little insane.

Bellamy clears his throat. “Thanks for backing me up in there. About Heaven. I really appreciate it.”

Octavia looks away. “You’re good with kids, and she seems to like you. Easy call.”

“Yeah, but-”

“You really think Farm Station has something to do with the attacks?”

Bellamy licks his lips, thankful for the change of subject. “The survivors of the crash, yeah. I don’t have any proof, though.”

“Your hunches are usually pretty good.”

He snorts. “My instincts are questionable at best. Usually, I screw everything up.”

“Bell-”

“We both know it’s true.”

Octavia sighs. “The pity-party is getting old.”

What does that mean? Bellamy shoves his hand through his hair, wincing as pain flares across his knuckles. “I don’t want to fight, O. Can we please not fight?”

Octavia spins on her heel and walks away. Bellamy hurries to catch up, heart in his throat. See—took about five seconds to screw up this conversation. What is wrong with me?

“Are you going to take the job?” she asks before he can say anything.

Bellamy sighs. He’s not sure if it’s relief or frustration. “I don’t think I have a choice. He threatened to fire me from the Guard if I didn’t. Although, at the moment, being a tailor isn’t sounding half bad. Less stress.”

She gives him a skeptical look. “All you’ve ever wanted was to be a guardsman.”

“To keep you safe. If I was on the Guard, I could get assigned to our block so when it was inspection time-”

She puts a hand up. “You loved it. You were good at it. You’re still good at it.”

He’s so confused. “O, what are you-”

“I think you should take the job,” she says after a moment.

Bellamy nearly trips over his own feet. “Really?”

She lets out a long, tired breath. “You’re already investigating these attacks, aren’t you?”

“Maybe.”

“Because you can’t let it go. You’ll never let it go. You have this innate need to keep everyone safe.”

Bellamy snorts. “Well, I suck at it.”

“I’m still here.”

“You don’t need me to protect you. You haven’t needed me for a long time.” He hates how bitter he sounds. Octavia’s independence is a good thing.

Octavia slows as they get to an intersection of halls. “Maybe not, but there are always others.” She not-so-subtly glances at Heaven.

Bellamy’s throat closes up.

“Indra won’t let you keep her. She’d raise her herself before she’d let that happen.”

Tears sting his eyes, but he blinks them away. “I know.”

“I know you, Bell, and I can see you’re already attached. You need to be ready to let go.”

“Why are you telling me this?” God, his heart hurts thinking about this stuff.

Octavia doesn’t answer. “If I hear anything more about the attacks, I’ll let you know.” Then she’s gone.

Bellamy doesn’t know what to think. They had a whole conversation without her once looking disgusted, but she had to drive that knife in deep.

She’s trying to help you. She knows this is going to hurt.

He shakes his head. He wants to believe that. Desperately needs to believe that she cares, but there’s a part of him that thinks she still wants revenge. Still wants him to suffer.

She said you’d make a good Commander. That you’re a good father.

She did not. I’m not. That didn’t happen.

His insides are a mess of churning acid and tight knots as he heads to the mess hall for breakfast. He has an overwhelming feeling that his day is only going to go downhill from here. It’s a scary thought.

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