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jennickels(This story was originally written in 2011 and has been updated for composition and clarity in 2020.)
“Up and at ‘em, Jackson.”
A boot connected with Daniel’s side. He groaned and rolled away, snuggling deeper into his sleeping bag. His head was killing him—felt like a full marching band playing the 1812 Overture in there, complete with canons. The boot nudged him again, a little more insistent this time.
“Go 'way,” Daniel mumbled. He was vaguely aware of other voices around him but had neither the will nor want to get up or even to try and understand what they were saying. After a short discussion, the foot ground into his back and shook violently.
“Get up.” Daniel recognized Mitchell’s voice, but he sounded like he was speaking from a great distance. And through cotton. His brain fought to catch up to his senses while the treads of his commander’s boot dug into his tender flesh. Daniel frowned into the soft fabric of his bag. Flesh? Something wasn’t right.
He reached a tentative hand over his body and let it drift over his back and around the boot still planted there. Where the hell was his shirt? The foot moved, and then he felt someone squat down next to his head. When Mitchell spoke again it was softer and closer to his ear.
“That’s right, Daniel, wakey-wakey. Time to get up and face the music.”
What was that supposed to mean? And why the hell was he naked? The realization that not only was his shirt missing, but his pants as well finally broke through the dense fog in his head. He pushed up on one arm and looked around—his vision still fuzzy from sleep.
Somewhere behind him, Sam snickered, and Mitchell looked like he was enjoying things way too much. Daniel narrowed his eyes at the blurred outline of the man standing next to his head. Someone—Teal’c he realized a moment later—handed him his glasses. “Why are you all-” he started to ask when the world around him suddenly came into crisp focus. “What the?”
Mitchell snorted, eyes twinkling. “Looks like you had a good time last night.”
“I don’t remember.”
“No?”
“That does not surprise me, Daniel Jackson, you were quite inebriated.”
“I was?”
“Vala, too.”
“Vala?”
“Wha’s goin’ on?” Vala’s sleepy head popped up next to Daniel. Vala rubbed her eyes and peered around with a look of confusion before falling back into the mess of blankets around them.
Daniel realized a moment later that she was just as clothesless which caused him to vault from the pallet on the floor of his tent.
“Woah,” Mitchell said with a laugh, jumping away and holding a hand out to cover his view.
By then, Sam was giggling almost uncontrollably, and even Teal’c had an evil glee in his eye.
“Daniel, you’re naked,” Vala said with obvious amusement.
He glared down at her. “So are you.”
She pulled the sleeping bag away from her body to take a peek. “Huh. How’d you suppose that happened?”
Daniel’s frown deepened at the sultry way she said that and the all too easy grin that spread across her face. Sam erupted into full out laughter and was quickly joined by Mitchell.
“Perhaps,” Teal’c said, “there was something in the drink you partook in during last night’s wedding ceremony.”
“Ya think.” That got another guffaw from Sam. Daniel mentally chided himself for sounding way too much like Jack. Oh god. If he ever learned about this, Daniel would never hear the end of it. “They didn’t say it was alcoholic.”
“Maybe they have a different word for it,” Mitchell suggested.
Sam handed him his pants as she tried to school her face slightly. “Maybe they didn’t know it would affect you like this.”
“Maybe,” Daniel muttered as he pulled on his clothes.
Vala was still lying in the tangle of sleeping bags looking completely unabashed. “I just wish I could remember it. Must have been spectacular.”
Daniel groaned, his hands coming up to cover his face.
“Why do you say that?” Mitchell asked.
“Because I don’t think I can move just yet.”
“Oh, god,” Daniel muttered.
“That’s what she said.”
Sam busted out laughing again, Vala and Mitchell joining her after a few seconds. Even Teal’c chuckled. Daniel was sure of it.
“How long have you been waiting to use that line?” Sam asked Mitchell.
“A while. You’d think I’d get the chance more often. But nope.”
They continued to laugh as they exited the tent, Mitchell clapping Daniel on the back as he went. He could hear them still laughing outside. Daniel glanced down at Vala who suddenly flushed a rosy shade of pink. “I, um,” he stammered, “I’ll be outside.”
“Daniel-” He paused at the flap, shooting her a look over his shoulder. “It was a lovely night, we should do it again sometime.”
“Argh.” He quickly exited only to be greeted by more friendly ribbing and laughter. He was never going to live this down. Damn alien wedding parties. He really should know better by now.
