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jennickelsIt Was Only a Matter of Time
by jennickels (aka Jen Connelly)
That 70s Show
Jackie/Hyde
rating: PG-13
Jack and Hyde work through their problems after Hyde finds Kelso in Jackie's Chicago hotel room (AU after season 7 finale). [start from the beginning: Chapter 1]
Chapter 4: It Only Hurts When I Think of You
Jackie paced the length of the studio. She was supposed to go on the air in a few minutes but she hadn't even prepared yet. She was so nervous her stomach hurt. What was she kidding herself for? Her stomach hurting had nothing to do with work. She hadn't stopped thinking about Steven since he had left a week ago. He must hat her. She sure hated herself right now and that was really hard to do when she looked so damn cute in her new clogs and pretty pink blouse.
"Burkhardt, you're on in 5 minutes," yelled Jake, the stage manager. Jackie felt her lunch coming up on her. There was no way she could go on TV feeling this way. All she could think about was how hurt Steven had looked before he left. Why, oh why, did she have to let Michael in that night? She could have told him to go back home, that she was tired, that she was washing her hair. Anything to get rid of him. When she had opened the door that evening she had completely expected Steve to be standing there, apology on his face, but in was just Michael. She hadn't really wanted to talk to him but she was so lonely. The other occupants of the motel were very vocal about their actions there. She had spent the first few hours with the news turned up as loud as it would go.
She let Michael stay so she would at least have someone to talk to. He did at least bring a pint of double chocolate fudge ice cream. It had been find at first, but the… he kissed her. It had been soft and sweet and innocent, like when they had first started dating; back before they were sleeping together. It was so nice to have someone kiss her in that agonizing way that for a second she forgot who she was kissing. Then Michael groped her. That was it. She had jumped up aware that she was getting dangerously close to cheating on Steven. Michael then proceeded to spill his half melted bowl of ice cream all over himself. He was such a klutz. When he had appeared from the bathroom in nothing but a towel Jackie had known it was time for him to go. It was all getting way out of control. He looked adorable even with his hideous new haircut. He smiled seductively, showing those cute dimples that had always made her melt before.
But just as quickly as those fond memories filled her head, even better ones of Steven replaced them. She missed him already and it had only been one day. She distracted Michael by asking him to get some ice for her Coke. He had trotted off wearing just the towel and Jackie went back to paging through her magazine trying to decide how to get rid of Michael. That is when things went bad. If only Steven hadn't shown up, or Michael had gotten lost in the motel-anything but what actually happened. Jackie felt the tears well up in her eyes again.
"Two minutes," called Jake. Jackie started to panic. She felt her chest tightening and it became increasingly hard to breathe.
"I can do this," she whispered to herself. She trembled and just couldn't shake the sick feeling that he settled into her stomach. Just then Jake peeked his head around the corner.
"You're on in 45 seconds. You better get out here."
Jackie looked at him wide eyed. "I can't do it," she mumbled.
"What?" Jake asked, confused.
"I can't go on. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do."
"What are you talking about? You just read what the cards say. It's pretty easy-an idiot could do it."
Jackie started to cry. "I'm sorry, Jake, really, but I have to go. I just can't do this job. I wish I could because it is a dream come true, but there is something more important right now that I have to deal with." She ran from the building sobbing. She wasn't sure what the heck she had just done. It didn't make any sense. She had just throws away the best opportunity of her life for…Steven Hyde; a scruffy, insensitive, paranoid jerk that drover her nuts half of the time. But the other half-he could be the sweetest guy she knew. She was so confused. She had left Point Place convinced that the best thing for her was this new job. Now a week later she was leaving Chicago convinced that the best thing for her was Steven, who most likely would never speak to her again. But she had to give it a shot.
She walked to the bus stop and waited. She wiped away the tears, finding a little strength in finally figuring out what she wanted. Only a little, though. She still had no ide3a how to get back to Wisconsin. She certainly couldn't call Michael for a ride again and she had no idea what she would say to Steven when she got there. She wondered what Steven was doing that minute-if he was missing her or just hating her. Was he crying softly in his room where no one could hear? Of course not. Steven didn't cry, that wasn't Zen. Jackie took a deep breath and tried to center herself with the Zen Steven had taught her years ago. She was aloof. That was the word he had used right? She didn't know. She never understood half the stuff Steven said to her. If it wasn't about fashion, make-up or movie stars then she didn't get it. But she like that bout their relationship. He made her want to learn more about stuff. She might not understand it even then, but at least she tried. And so did he.
The Zen just wasn't working. She couldn't pretend not to care when it hurt so much. She groaned as the bus approached. I wonder what Steven is doing, she thought again.
Hyde unlocked the front door of the store and flipped the sign over to "open". It was a little after nine and he was late. Of course there were no customers beating down the doors, but there could have been. Ever since the episode with Leo last week, Hyde had made an extra effort to actually care about his job and how the record store was doing. He made Fez return all of the records he "borrowed" and quit snaking cash from the register. It had taken three days to clean up the mess. Donna and Fez came to help when they could and Charlie, too. At least that kid was good for a laugh. He had forced Leo to help, too, but Leo-well Leo was Leo and he wasn't much help except when you needed a little circle time to forget about the day. It was better then nothing, Hyde thought.
He hadn't seen or heard from Kelso all week. No one had and Hyde was find with that. He wasn't sure what he would do to him if he did see him. He did wonder what the police department thought about his disappearance or if they even cared. Kelso had to be the dumbest cop in the whole state and they were probably glad to be rid of him. Why was he even worried? What the hell did he care if Kelso got fired? Kelso was a dumbass and deserved everything he got. Hyde tried to stay angry, but some part, deep down inside; some part of him that Jackie had brought to the surface did care about what happened to Kelso. They had been friends for so long and had been through a lot together. But he still couldn't get the image of him in that towel out of his head. Damn Kelso.
Hyde went into the back office and started going over the sales numbers from the last couple of days. They had lost a lot of money from being closed during the clean-up. He studied the papers trying to figure a way to get some if back, annoyed that he actually understood what all the numbers meant. He heard the little bell above the front door tingle.
"Hey, boss, it's just me," called a sing-songy voice.
"Hey, Missy, I'm back here," he said. He had hired Missy three days ago, just after they finished the clean-up. WB had recommended her. She had worked in the office for a few months but just didn't fit in. She was all spikey hair and torn jeans, definitely not office material. So far she fit in pretty good at the store. She usually worked the middle of the day. Hyde opened at 8:3- and she came in a little later (never the same time) and worked until whenever. Hyde would leave and then come back to close the store. He still couldn't trust anyone else to do it even though Missy had offered. They were long days sicne they rarely kicked anyone out before 11pm. But at least it kept his mind off of Jackie.
Missy had taken to calling him "boss man," which Hyde found ironic. He had gone from hating "the man" to being "the man." What was the world coming to? He chuckled to himself at the thought.
"What are you so cheery about today?" Missy asked.
"I don't do cheery," Hyde responded, very proud that his Zen was coming back to him.
"You just giggled."
"I did not. I do not giggle."
"Sure sounded like a giggle to me."
"Whatever."
"Yeah, okay, whatever."
Hyde watched as Missy rummaged through her purse looking for her name tag. He wasn't even sure why she wore it. He had never said anything about name tags; she just showed up the first day wearing a smiley face button that said, "My name is Melissa, How can I help?" Hyde found his new co-worker to be quite odd, in a perplexing sort of way. He couldn't figure her out. One minute she was saying that Black Sabbath was the greatest band ever and the next she was boogieing to KC and the Sunshine Band.. She came in with these awful punk outfits and her hair dyed two different colors but she wore a name tag that said her name was Melissa, a nice, normal name. She was a walking contradiction. At least she wasn't afraid to be herself. Hyde liked to hide behind his calm, laid back façade. It was easier that way. Missy was out there in all her mixed up glory and loving the crazy looks she got. He kind of admired her for that.
Hyde watched her bound out of the office and could hear her humming as she straightened the crates and dusted. He looked back at his paperwork and realized he hadn't thought about Jackie for a whole five minutes. Must be a new record, he mumbled to himself. Missy had switched on the stereo and was no full-out singing along. He recognized the album right away-ABBA. Why in the world did she put that crap on? Was she purposely trying to torture him. With that damn music in the background he couldn't help but think of Jackie. She loved to play this album just to get on his nerves. She knew if she kept it up long enough he would relent and give her whatever she wanted. "You are the young and sweet, only seventeen," he mumbled under his breath. God help him, he was singing along.
Missy, turn that crap off," he yelled.
"Whatever you say, boss." A few seconds later ABBA was replaced with some decent Rolling Stones.
Hyde shook his head and rubbed his eyes. Against his will, he wondered what Jackie was doing right then. She was probably at work with all those great looking TV guys having the time of her life. He doubted it, but it was better then imagining her alone at the motel crying. But I don't care, he told himself. She chose to end this whole crazy thing when she hooked up with Kelso, so what the heck do I care what she is doing right now? But he did care and it hurt thinking about her. He had been so scared to go to Chicago that night. So scared that he was making a mistake and throwing his life away that for a split second he was relieved that Kelso was there and he hadn't proposed but it only lasted a second. Now that Jackie was gone he realized, with intense displeasure, that he loved her more then he imagined he could ever love a woman.
Maybe they could work it out. Maybe he could forgive her. She had forgiven him when he slipped up with the slutty nurse. But that had been different. That had all been a misunderstanding. This was not. Jackie had slept with Kelso-KELSO, of all people. Damn Kelso. It could only possibly hurt more if they had done it in his own bed. Hyde shook the image from his head. His brain was starting to hurt from the overload of thinking. It always did when he got to thinking of one of his conspiracies. He needed a hit and bad, but he had no stash at the store anymore. He swore he would clean up his act, at least at work. He was almost 20 for God's sake and he had a business to run. What the hell was he talking about? Where did he get these work ethics from? Where the heck did he get ethics at all? God, what did Jackie do to him? Why did she have this effect on hi,? She made him feel, well, feel anything and everything. All those feelings he had locked up years ago when Bud had left town. He told himself he would never care about another person again; that he would never hurt the way it did back then. But he had let Jackie in and see where it got him.
Ugh. Hyde just wished he could forget Jackie Burkhardt existed. That was, of course, a lie he told himself. He didn't want that at all. He just wished he could see her, hold her, and, God forbid, talk to her.
He leaned back in his chair and wondered what Jackie was doing for the 10th time that day.
Chapter 5
